Then and now

Earl came home from work today and told me that one of the "new guys" at the office has a 12 week old baby. He told this to me casually, while I cleaned up the dinner dishes...the conversation went something like this: Earl--"The new guy is from blah, blah, blah" Me--"Oh that's nice. Is he married?" Earl--"uh, uhhhhh...oh, yeah! They have a 12 week old baby" And SUDDENLY, as I stood at the sink scrubbing turkey meatballs off the highchair tray, I was whisked back to one year ago...to LAST February...2008...Earl was in training on the east coast, Grace and I were forging our way in a strange town and a new house, Sam was curled in my tummy...it seems like a lifetime ago. As I stood there at the sink, I said quietly to no one in particular "That means she (the 'new guys' wife) was pregnant while he was in training"...Earl nodded in confirmation, then was pulled away to play "Daddy dragon" with Grace. But I stood there a moment longer...quietly contemplating how different my life is than it was just a year ago....I'm sure I'll meet the "new guys" wife at the next work get together, might even learn her name...I hope I don't scare her with my lingering hug. I only want her to know that I've been there too...
Then I heard Sam-O sitting at my feet, throwing tupperware into every corner of the kitchen and I was snapped back to the present....wow, how far we've come and how far we have to go.

Secretely...

....I wanna be a rockstar...in my "other" life of course...hence the change in backgrounds...I'm sure we'll be back to flowers and sunshine soon...right now, bring me my guitar...yeah...

It's not our anniversary...That happens in June. BUT I was filtering through some pictures yesterday and stumbled upon these...seems like a lifetime ago, also seems like yesterday....is that even possible? Things have changed, we have changed, our situation has changed...somehow we've started looking more and more alike and we have almost an unspoken language...My my, what a FULL almost seven years we have had....job changes, relocations, babies--and through it all we have forged our way. Together. Happy Valentine's Day Earl...I love you...as big as the sky.

Now, ya'll KNOW I'm kinda turning into a hippy...right? Well if you know me at all, you know this much is true...I cloth diaper Sam (and am secretly addicted to the pinning of cloth to my boy's sweet liddle buns), I'm trying to be green and recycle (I have a personal competition with myself to get more recycle out on the curb each week than actual trash and I LOVE LOVE LOVE throwing the glass bottles into the glass bin at the recycle center), I breastfeed Samuel any time and any place and plan to nurse him as long as he wants (11 months and counting) and...I've begun to question vaccines, even putting Sam on a "delayed vaccination schedule" and refusing what I believe to be unnecessary vaccinations. That being said--PRAISE GOD I get to CHOSE to be a hippy...Hallelujah I get to pour over books and charts about vaccinations and the schedules the AAP recommends. I don't know if any of you (my "readers"...if there IS such a thing) saw the ABC clip featuring Selma Hayek and her trip to Sierra Leone but if you missed it, PLEASE follow the below link and check it out...wow, talk about "loving your neighbor"--I do believe THIS qualifies...

Selma Hayek ABC clip

**Oh and for the record...Selma's right...it DOES feel weird to nurse a baby that is not your own...I have done this...but I woulda put that tiny baby to my breast just as quickly as she did...there's a primal "ache" I feel when I hear a hungry, crying baby and it's tough to deny...

**And one more thing...BOTH of my kids are up-to-date on their tetanus vaccine...I consider THAT one very necessary ;)

It is 10:49pm...do you know where your dog is?

Seriously...10:49pm...uh, nope...10:50pm...but sleep fails me for a number of reasons. Most of them small, but when coupled together prevent my favorite part of the day from coming true. Sleep. Oh how I LOVE to sleep. And how I MISS the kind of sleep I slept before children tumbled into my life. But here I am. Dark living room. Glowing computer screen. Heater humming quietly. The dog followed me in here...faithful, weary animal that he is. I wonder how he functions on the few, broken hours of sleep he gets. Woken abruptly when the children squeal or throw a toy in his direction. Or when curiosity gets the better of him and he MUST see what delicious morsel I am putting together in the kitchen. And then there is night after sleepless night...it never fails...the baby cries or big sister is in need of a monster slayer...and so Mommy rolls out of bed, followed by Simon, our nine year old trusty border collie mix. His hips are creaky and his eyes cloudy...but he has a duty, he is our protector and his "people" are more important than sleep.