October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss month...the 15th--today--is a day set aside to remember. In June of 2003, Danny and I mourned the loss of our first child. I was 12 weeks pregnant, almost out of my first trimester and looking forward to less morning sickness and more baby "bump"...we went in for a routine appt and an ultrasound revealed that we had lost the baby. Warmly curled in my womb...the teeny-tinest baby...arms, legs...but no heartbeat. It was devastating. We learned a lot...we cried a lot...we were mad at God. The range of emotions is difficult to put into words. I really don't feel prepared to write about it just now....but if you read this blog at all, you know that we went on to have Grace and Sam...two perfect children that I praise God for everyday. Amazing children....gifts really...Thank you Lord for my babies. All three of them.

I have many friends (both in the real world and the "blog" world) who have lost children. It is an aspect of this cruel world that I often struggle with, children dying before their parents...it is a mystery of God and I have found that it is impossible to understand. I want these friends--known and unknown (there are several blogs I follow--Gabe and Jonah's blog, Ayden's blog, Caden and Rigg's blog--and I have never actually met the women behind the stories....but they have AMAZING testimonies. Stop by their blog sometime and let them know you are praying for them)--but I want them all to know...I will remember their children. They will not be forgotten. And I will do my best to praise God in the storm....