Friday, February 19, 2010

Just because I haven't blogged in awhile doesn't mean that I haven't thought about blogging, haven't written posts in my head that are soon lost in the chaos that is life. I imagine that when I die and get to heaven, there will be an entire book filled with stories I have "written" just before falling asleep or while I cook dinner stored away in my brain. If only...oh if only...I could make time to just sit and write. But let's face it...time management is not my strong suit. I do love to write though...sorta evens me out, organizes me...makes me less flighty.
So...I have forced myself to sit...after lunch and before nap...because I have something to write. Not necessarily something you have to read...but something I need to remember, because someday (most likely tomorrow) it will be forgotten.
I have written before about moments in my life. Moments I wish I could stop and go back to...funny thing is, these moments aren't big events, or even momentous occasions. Just small pieces of my day...when I stop...and breathe...and wish I could hit the pause button.
It is snowing. That quiet, peaceful, wet sort of snow. I am washing the lunch plates, looking out at the window...wishing for spring. But then...I breathe...deep. And I am reminded that today won't come again...ever. I hear the sweet noises of my children. My chattering 5 year quiet, contemplative almost 2 year old. It is music...lovely music. There is a plant in the window. Grace's plant. The seeds have just pushed through the soil and are bending, bending, bending toward the sunlight--what little of it that shines through the snowy sky. The snow is sticking now...wet and heavy. Sam brushes my leg with his soft sweet liddle hand...a hand that will someday, soon, be man's hand...large, hairy...much like his Daddy's. Breathe...remember that feeling...remember that tiny hand. Grace comes to me...complains that there is "something sticky on my cheek"...I is nailpolish. "Nailpolish is for fingernails and toenails....not for faces. Do you understand?" She nods "yes"...and I begin to wipe off the glittery purple polish. Precious cheeks. Full and round with and glowing. She is so animated. Oh...remember...remember. Time goes so quickly. When I think of it...I get weepy. Breathe...remember...enjoy the moment. What gifts I have been given.