Monday, April 2, 2012

Thoughts on a warm spring day

I'm not even gonna talk about how long it's been.
Long enough for my firstborn to turn 7 and my baby to turn 4.
Long enough for winter to come and go, and for spring to begin again.
It would take a lot of time to catch up.
I'm not gonna even try.

Our weather has been so warm.  The sun shines and the children play.  Their voices rise and fall, it is the music of our neighborhood.  My driveway is covered in chalk drawings.  The tree in our front yard has already leafed out, and is beginning to provide wonderful shade in the afternoon.  My tulips have bloomed and my flower beds are coming back to life.  Each time my shovel disturbed the earth yesterday afternoon, worms wiggled out.  They are HUGE this year!  I was so happy to see them.  I love worms.

My sister recently had a young friend that got married.  There has been  much excitement over the dress, and the cake, and the bridesmaids.  The talk of her marriage has caused me to think of my own, almost 10 years ago.   But as hard as I try, honestly I don't remember much from that day.  Isn't that strange?  It seems like I was walking in a dream.  And what I desperately want to tell this friend of my big sister is that the dress, the flowers, the cake...it is all very beautiful but it is not what defines a marriage.  I look at this man I married, a good and kind man.  And it is the sharing of our life, the things only we remember, the give and take of it all...that is what defines a marriage.  We have been through some fire in 10 years. We have struggled and we have cried.  We have lost and we have won.  We have laughed and laughed.  We have rejoiced and mourned.  We have walked through the shadow of death and we have witnessed the start of new life.  And the ceremony that started our journey was simply the beginning, the launching off point to what we have become together in 10 years.   I want to tell the new bride all of this, try to make her understand.  But there is no way to explain this mystery.  How you become so woven together.  How wonderful it is to know that one person on this planet truly knows you.  Knows your good parts and bad parts...and chooses everyday to love you anyway.