I'm testing out a new parenting technique....compliments of my big sister--the teacher...she's reading this book...she won't shut-up about it...sounds like smart advice to me...so I thought I'd try it out on my diva....here's the technique...
Instead of telling a child to do something ("Go brush your teeth") or asking them using the words "can" or "could" ("Could you take your plate to the sink for me?"), this book suggests saying "will" or "would" ("Will you go clean up your room?")--I'm not so sure of all the details (remember my sister is the one reading this book, then telling me what she thinks might work for me) but something about empowerment of the child, belief that this child is capable of the task before them, blah blah blah...sounds simple right?? Piece of cake, huh???...hahahahahahaha...the author of this book has OBVIOUSLY never met my Grace. My sis said it has (and I quote) "worked like a charm" with her children (my niece and nephew, ages 6 and 8--who I am beginning to think just might be little angels in disguise...with their mop of white blond hair and all)
Here is what happened when I tried the above "technique" on Grace:
Me: "Grace, would you get your toys cleaned up before we go outside to play?"
Grace: "Ummmm...no thanks...I'll do it later"
"NO THANKS"???? "NO"...."THANKS"....????? Well at least in her defiance she is polite...
6 comments:
Hahahahaha. Having experienced ... well ... myself as a child, I could see that one coming a mile away! Since she does that, I also wouldn't recommend giving her the choice between doing what you want and a "punishment" type thing. Those sorts of offers always sounded like options to me rather than threats ... :)
Yeah ... asking nicely doesn't work well here either. I get, "Oh, no. I don't feel like doing that right now." I have to run it more like a military camp around here... YOU. DO THIS. HAVE IT DONE IN 10 MINUTES. I'M SETTING A TIMER. THANK YOU. Offering wiggle room or a way out at this house just lets the "little lawyers" find a way out of doing what they've been asked to do.
Beth...yes, I love the timer! HA! "little lawyers"...
Margaret...but you were always such a sweet child!!! And yes, options...gotta give my diva SOME sense of control!!
Margaret's suggestion sounds a lot like "parenting with love and logic". Just finished that book not too long ago. Works great in certain situations and completely useless in others... probably a lot like the "would you" technique!!
Not angels- just highly trainable! Ha! "Not an option" is exactly right! The "No thanks, I'll do it later" could get a response like, "No thanks, I need you to do it right now please. Thanks!" Walk away. When the task doesn't get done, give one reminder, two reminder and third time: ta-da! Natural consequenses!(That is a take away from the book "One Two Three Magic" NOT a counting book- I hate that!) Time out and try it again. BTW, the book is "Children Are From Heaven" (by John Gray)and I LOVE IT!!!! I have used up every word in that sucker!
LOL!!! Brogan always says "OKAYYYYYY...", like my requests/orders are SUCH a bore to her. I seem to sometimes forget it's her world and we're all just livin' it! Geez, these strongwilled little women...I am literally getting gray hair...it's new too, I've never had one before!
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