My blog title

I thought about changing the title of my blog.  It was created late at night...I sorta just pulled it out of the dusty corners of my brain.  I thought recently that since this blog has been something like a journal of our family, I should rename it to reflect our family.  But then I got to thinking...
I like the title.
It has sentimental meaning.
To me at least.
So, you ask, what exactly does "Smile as Big as You Can" mean anyway?
Well...it all started with this guy...

He's my dad...

also answers to "BikeMan" and Grandpa Trumpet.  Because he likes to ride a bike...and he's a professional trumpet player. 

He's also sorta a goofball.  Under his calm demeanor he is one of the funniest men I know.  He's quiet though, so you gotta listen closely.  (But really, who can blame the man for being quiet...surrounded by three LOUD women for most of his adult life?  It's a miracle he's not been institutionalized...)

See?  Goof.ball.  In his defense, this picture was taken somewhere around mile 70 of a 100 mile bike ride.  Remember?  He likes to ride a bike...like...a lot.  Borders on insane. 

He is the inspiration behind the title of this blog.  Smile as Big as You Can.  When my sister and I were little girls, we used to say "Daddy!  Smile as big as you can."  And being the indulgent father he was/is he would stop what he was doing and smile.  BIG.  As big as he could.  Read Cheshire Cat big.  Showing all your teeth and most of you gums big.  Make your mouth hurt big.  It was great.  And we would tumble over in peals of little girl laughter.  I'm not sure how it started (Daddy, if you're reading this...where did it start?) but it is a rich memory for me.  And sometimes...now, as a grown woman with babies of my own...when the day is draggin' on, I take a deep breath and remember to smile.  As big as I can.  And it helps....and it makes me laugh...and it bubbles up a warm memory in my heart.  Of a daddy who taught me and continues to teach me that life is lived one minute...one day...one smile at a time. 

I married a man just like my father in so many ways.  Quiet, funny, obsessed with a bicycle, and above all a great daddy to my children.  A daddy who will make a fool of himself just to hear his little girl squeal with laughter.  So...I'm gonna leave the title as it is.  I like it.  DADDY!  Smile!!!...As big as you can...

I've been thinking about my mother-in-law a lot.  I miss her.  It goes deeper than I thought it would.  She and I had a special relationship.  We shared the same man.  She knew him deeply, as do I...
I don't know what has brought this on.  The past 3 or 4 days she has been on the edge of my conscience.  There, but not.  Almost touchable.  I wish I had another morning to share a cup of coffee with her.  Another late night to eat chocolate silk pie and drink box wine with her.  I wish I could hear her laugh.  See her dance with my children.
She was there.  And then...gone.  In the blink of an eye.
If you read my posts on Facebook, you may have read a recent one that mentioned my wanting "do-overs".  I do not wish to live life differently.  Every mistake, wrong/right decision I have made in my 31 years was mine to make, and I do not regret my life.  God has woven a beautiful, colorful tapestry of my life...I am proud of it.  I only wish I had more time...

He's gonna hate me for this...

2 years ago Grace wanted to be "Ariel" for Halloween.  This was also the year that she thought the sky would be orange on Halloween night.  Remember??  You can go here to read that post again...
So for one night (and a couple of hours a preschool) my diva was transformed into a most beautiful mermaid.  I kept the costume.  We have a dress up box that is full to the brim.  I think every Disney princess dress ever made is shoved in there.  Cinderella, Mulan, Snow White, and of course Ariel.  The costume is getting small.  The "tail" is no longer floor length.  It's more like a "capri-length" tail.  But it's still fun to squeeze into and "swim" around the living room. 

(Okay...blogger has a new posting editor...this may or may not turn out so pretty.  I have no idea how to work this thing.  WHY do they have change things??  I don't want a new look...I want the old look!!!)
ANYway...
We have above said mermaid costume...Dress up is a favorite pastime in our house.
Baby brother likes to dress up too.
He has boy costumes.  A pirate.  Cowboy hats, a holster, guns.  A train conductor hat.  But he really, really likes his sister.  I would venture to say that he is obsessed with her.  He is sad when she goes to school.  Some days he cries.  And he asks about her at least one time an hour...all. day. long.  It's a party everyday she arrives home.  He thinks she is fan.tas.tic.  And anything she dresses up in?  Well, he must dress up in too...forget the boy stuff...bring on the sequins.

We tossed the wig...it got nasty...looked like Ariel after a few dicey nights on the streets.  So he improvised.  With a wizard hat.  And the beads around his neck later become some sort of weapon.  So he lost those. That's one thing Grace never did...make weapons out of anything and everything.

Yup...it's a match made in heaven.  I have a big sister I'm obsessed with too.  I'd dress up like a mermaid if she told me to.  And I'm in my 30's.  Guess it's a pretty important relationship.  Good thing he has such wonderful big sister material to work with...

Sam is has started talking...it's something I have worried about. His speech...or really, his lack of speech. He's been reserved for the better part of his short 2 1/2 years with us. Who can blame the boy? His sister never shuts up. She talks for him. She talks to him. She talks...all. the. time. But now that she is in school for the better part of the day, in the silence Sam has found his voice. He's always been funny. Silly. A goofball. And now that he has narrative to work with? Well...he's reached a whole new level of funny.
I wanted to write this down so that I won't forget it...it has made me chuckle most of the day....
Today we went to Kohl's to get a Christmas gift for Grace. (She wants those Twinkle Toes light up shoes...who am I to say "no"? Lights? Rhinestones? Where do I sign?) When we walked into the store Sam started saying "Uh-oh mommy...Uh-0h...Mommy! Uh-oh!!! UH-OH!! MOM!!!" He was quite frantic, and at first I thought maybe he had dropped something, but he quickly clarified the problem for me. "MOMMY!! Heads! Uh-oh! Heads...gone! Uh-oh!" And then I saw what I have failed to see on previous shopping trips. The mannequins at Kohl's?...they're headless. I have to say, it is quite disturbing. And I can't believe I've never noticed it before. Not one mannequin had a head...not. a. single. one. In the entire store. I know this because Sam pointed out each and every plastic display..."mommy...uh-oh...heads" He got rather quiet as we rolled through the store...mumbled to himself. I don't think he ever quite understood why they were headless...but come to think of it...I don't think I quite understand either.

Talking Sam. Funny Sam. Oh Sam....

I thought I would try to play "catch up" on here...I had fantastic plans to post pictures of our summer outings and blog about all the fun we had. This is afterall, the "journal" of our family. But, honestly, the very idea of it wears. me. out. So here's what we're gonna do...I'm gonna just start here. And try to keep up. Wish me luck.

We went to the circus last Saturday. It was Earl's idea. He bought the tickets, he planned where we would eat dinner, he even drove the car (because frankly the parking garage freaks me out...big time). I love it when I don't have to be the "ringleader" (hardee-har-har!) of a family outing. Now the last time I remember going to the circus was as a child. And the only thing I recall from my one and only trip to the Big Top was that I was scared...I spent the entire show with my head buried in the crook of my Papa's arm. As a result of this experience, I am not a fan of clowns...so I haven't been all too eager to expose my sweet baby children to something that was so terrifying for me as a child. But Earl? Earl is the fun parent. We've discussed this before. And, as it turns out, a great "event" planner as well. Who knew!? We ate at the downtown grocery store for dinner. Doesn't sound too exciting does it? Well, let me tell ya...it was GREAT! The selection was ginormous! Everyone got to pick out exactly what they wanted to eat...I got sushi. Some very yummy sushi, I might add. The kids got a turkey sandwich (always a hit when you're 5). Earl got a turkey sandwich too...I guess it's a hit when you're 36 as well. Then we headed to the arena early to see the pre-show (read: clowns doing clown things).

Here ya go...a picture of a clown...doing clowny sorts of things...notice, he's standing on a skateboard while juggling. Pretty impressive. And not a bit scary. Sam absolutely loved this guy...He was so enthralled with the clown's juggling/skateboarding skills he couldn't close his mouth...shoulda taken a picture of that...hind-sight...20/20...


The circus was fun. It was over the top...it was big...it was loud...it was overstimulating. We had a blast. Earl insisted upon buy each kid a bag of cotton candy for $12 a piece. Yeh, you read that right...$12 a bag! Sure there was a cheap wizard hat that came with it...but $12?! Really? Whatever. We made a memory, right? And our kids like cotton candy now...unlike when we went to Disney on Ice, and they cried when we tried to them feed fluffy sugar. You can read about that here. (Oh and by the way...I think Earl must have some sort of positive childhood memory attached to cotton candy. He thinks it's the end-all-be-all...the stuff makes his eyes light up)

Sam's signature smile. He kinda looks like Jack Nicholson, doesn't he?


We had a fun. And I was cool with the clowns. They're generally harmless. But I still don't wanna get too close...